Hello, old cock!
Just passing through on my way to a little drinky poo with some old Soho friends and a platoon of Judoon, and thought I'd drop a line! Is it really 2011? You have some treats in store, I can tell you! VAT increases, a second attempted invasion of Frinton by the Sea Devils, and Nelson Mandela winning Strictly Dancing! And, if I were you, I'd bet on West Ham winning the Premiership. They don't, but then, I'm not you, am I my dear? I've got a Fendahleen dollar on Manchester City!
It's also MARVELLOUS to see me on the telly so much! Wasn't I simply scrumptuous in my Christmas Special? Of course, I look a little different these days, and I seem to be wearing Pertwee's bloody tie, but what lovely hair! At this rate, however, I will be about 12 years old in another couple of incarnations. Maybe they'll dress me in a nappy, ha! ha!
It was all different in my day, you know. I had many more adventures in corridors than they do now, for instance. You can't beat a good corridor. You can go up it, and down it, and up it again. There's also not so far to go to the bar. These days, I seem to be working much harder, running around and emoting. It looks frankly exhausting. A game for the young I tell you.
I am a bit worried that one of my exs may be there tonight. No, I don't mean the ex wife, Romana, but Trevor the Zygon, who I had that horrific rebound affair with. I do believe the little bugger is stalking me. Having a stalker who is also a shapeshifter is a bit of a problem, let me tell you. You daren't let the gas man in.
Anyway, must dash, I've got a chicken kiev doing in the TARDIS oven. Need to line the old stomach before a session, especially when drinking with Judoon! Happy days!
Ta ta for now!
THE DOCTOR
